After chordoma, what’s next?

I received the great news that I appear to be chordoma free more than a week ago, and I haven’t really honored it yet.  I thought I would be ecstatic and have a huge celebration.  I am happy, obviously, and very relieved, however it is taking me longer to wrap my head around this than I expected. 

Cancer Free!?!

More good news!  I met with my thoracic surgeon, who told me that the pathology report from my mediastinoscopy did not show any cancer, or anything else serious.  It indicates sarcoidosis, which is essentially an inflammation or immune response to something… or medical speak for “we have no idea…”  The tissue has been sent off to be cultured to see if they can determine what may be causing or have caused it. 

Good news, part one.

The pathology report from my lymph node biopsy finally came back and I have an appointment with the thoracic surgeon tomorrow to review it. I expect the results to show something minor or insignificant, which will complete my week of good news. Yesterday I reviewed the results of my last MRI with my radiation oncologist and they were quite positive.

More waiting and meditating

Pippa and Paolo in meditation

I am leaning hard on my meditation and yoga practices this weekend.  While my mind is moving constantly towards worry, anxiety and future unhealthy scenarios, I am doing a reasonably good job of catching myself when this happens and pulling myself back into the present, into right now, where I feel healthy and strong

Resting and recovering

I’m resting and waiting.  My minor surgery went very well.  I was in the operating room as planned at 745 Thursday morning and the procedure was quick and straight-forward.  

Smooth and Easy

The zuger kirschtorte I made for my mother’s birthday – my last meal before fasting…

Smooth and easy.  That’s how I expect today to go.  This is a routine, minor surgical procedure.  I need to be at the hospital at 6am, should be in an out of surgery by 10, resting and recovering.  They are planning to keep me overnight, which they would not normally do.  I guess as a frequent user I guess special treatment.  I think I am what they would call a “whale” – a big time user of health care resources, so I get special treatment – the fancier laryngoscope, the special scalpel with Swarovski crystal on the handle,

MRI’s, meditation and mediastinoscopy

I will be in the core of an MRI machine in a few hours, the start of a week of diagnostics, surgery, doctors and anaesthesia.  I have suffered a week of anxiety, but now I feel prepared for this.  I am calm, peaceful and looking forward to getting answers and moving on in this journey

Booking tee times and surgery dates

Just when I thought everything was falling into place…  I feel great, I am getting back to work, and I have taken out the golf clubs.  Last week I was getting ready to book tee times and instead I am booking surgery dates.  This is not where I thought I would be in mid-March.  I feel far better physically than I thought I would at this point. 

Birthdays and Setbacks

“Does anything look out of place?”

It is celebration week.  Maya is home for Reading Week and both Stella and Olivia turn a year older this weekend.  I am just trying to keep up as my recovery seems to have gone into reverse, partially due to self-sabotage.  I spent a good deal of last weekend in the ER at Kelowna General Hospital and haven’t been well since.

It’s time to move on

I’m sure it was the right call, but Paolo would have gone with Marshawn Lynch.

I’m over it.  They lost.  I accept it (sort of).  I don’t get it, but I’m over it.  As the headline in today’s Seattle Times promotes, “it’s time to move on.”  Until next season  #nextyear #what’snext? #whyinthehelldidhethrowthat?