More waiting and meditating

Pippa and Paolo in meditation

Pippa and Paolo in meditation

I am leaning hard on my meditation and yoga practices this weekend.  While my mind is moving constantly towards worry, anxiety and future unhealthy scenarios, I am doing a reasonably good job of catching myself when this happens and pulling myself back into the present, into right now, where I feel healthy and strong.  My biopsy was nine days ago, my MRI 12 days ago, and I have no results from either.  I called Thoracics on Thursday and was told that the pathology report is still not back.  Hmm – this seems odd.  Rather than assuming that the tissue has been sent to CDPC in Atlanta and the health authority here is quietly determining an emergency plan, I need to remember that it is just as likely that the lymph node biopsy was a very low priority for the pathology lab and the MRI was all clear.  In the worst case, I am seeing the oncologist on the 8th and will get an update then.  I am trying to not to get stressed about this, trying to be calm, telling myself that no news is good news.

I have just completed an outstanding mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) course through the BC Cancer Agency, taught by David Greenshields.  The class was based on the program developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn and reinforced my understanding of how important meditation, yoga and mindfulness are to health, healing and recovery.  Between the resources from this course, daily mediation and an almost daily yoga practice I am trying to stay grounded.  I have better focus and concentration and am learning that the best way I can take care of my future health is by being healthy today.  Now I need to maintain this practice without the discipline of a weekly class.  I had a lousy yoga session yesterday (physically it was okay but my mind was all over the place) but otherwise getting back to the studio and practicing regularly has been the best thing for me mentally and physically.

I don’t know what the results of my medical tests are and there is no upside in worrying about them.  All I can do is try to be the best I can be, physically and mentally.

Happy Easter – I hope you and your family enjoy the holiday!




7 thoughts on “More waiting and meditating

  1. I was neither surprised nor alarmed by you blog today. In fact, if there is any surprise it is that you are not more anxious. I doubt if nine out of ten people could face your wait without overwhelming anxiety. Be assured that our thoughts are with you and of you. Just remember that you have so much in life in your favour.
    All our love, Fay and Jim

    Sent from my iPad



  2. Happy Easter Paul and family. I love the cat picture. I was just watching Harry this morning and marveling about how meditative everything he does is. They are great models of ‘being present’ and masters of the meditative state. Great teachers altogether!


  3. Am so proud and humbled at the same time of the way you are facing these challenges along the way. Lots of love prayers and positive thoughts from afar. Remember the Easter message of new life!


  4. Paul,

    So glad you had a good MBSR program with David. It’s a lot of work but gives one another set of tools to relaxation & stress reduction. I’m so impressed by your calmness. That waiting can be quite aggravating but you seem to be looking at it in a positive way.

    I love the picture of your cat, Pippa, & Paolo. Cats “pour” themselves onto the floor & are masters of relaxation. We could follow their examples, more & be more healthy, I think. Hang around Pippa, Paul! Sending positive, healthy energy to you & your family. I’ll be rooting for you!

    Happy Easter to you all.


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